I'm on a ship
by jAnon
Summary: Pure crack. I'm not responsible for this material.
1. I'm on a ship

**Title**: I'm on a ship  
**Author**: jAnon  
**Pairings**: None  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Wordcount**: 389  
**Disclaimer**: I have not profited monetarily from this venture, nor do I claim original ownership of the characters, setting, or song.  
**Summary**: The Lonely Island's song 'I'm on a boat' as applied to Star Trek.

A/N- The link to the Lonely Island's original music video can be found on youtube. I recommend listening to it and reading at the same time.

Also, there are tons of variations of this on youtube. They're all lots of fun, and I highly recommend you watch them. The song is too perfect to pass up for Star Trek, and I'm only adding to the cracktastic tradition.

--

Woah, free ship to command for three. Now, who should I take? Spock—

(raises an eyebrow)

And ... Bones.

(Damn)

--

Oh shit, get your phasers ready  
It's about to go down  
Everybody in the place hit the fucking deck  
But stay on your motherfucking toes  
We running this, let's go

I'm on a ship \ I'm on a ship  
Everybody look at me \ 'Cause I'm flying on a ship  
I'm on a ship \ I'm on a ship  
Take a good hard look \ At my motherfucking spaceship

I'm on a ship motherfucker, take a look at me  
Straight flying on a ship through the galaxy  
Busting Warp Five, space streaming like a rip  
You can't stop me motherfucker, 'cause I'm on a ship

Take a picture trick \ I'm on a ship, bitch  
We breaking all the laws of physics 'cause it's so sick  
I got my gold shirt and my communicator  
I'm fighting Klingons, killed some Romulans  
So tell the Praetor

I'm standing by the Captain, doing illogical shit  
He's in danger, I'm responding to the Tholian threat  
But this aint Star Wars, this as real as it gets  
I'm on a ship, motherfucker, don't you ever forget

I'm on a ship \ and \ it's going fast \ and  
I got a logical green commander Vulcan  
I'm the king of the 'verse, on a ship with Leo  
If you're on the shore, the you're sure not me \ oh

Get the fuck up \ this ship is real

Fuck land I'm in space motherfucker  
Fuck Melkot I shoot buoys motherfucker  
I'm on the deck with my boys motherfucker  
The warp engine makes noise motherfucker

Hey ma, if you could see me now  
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow  
Gonna fly this ship through the barrier somehow  
With Captain Kirk, anything is possible

Yeah, never thought I'd be on a ship  
It's a big black dangerous trip  
Hippocrates, look at me \ oh  
Never thought I'd see the day  
When a big ship coming my way  
Believe me when I say  
I need a hypospray

I'm on a ship \ I'm on a ship  
Everybody look at me \ 'Cause I'm flying on a ship  
I'm on a ship \ I'm on a ship  
Take a good hard look \ At the motherfucking ship


	2. Knock you down

**Title**: Knock you down  
**Author**: jAnon  
**Pairings**: Kirk/Spock  
**Rating**: PG  
**Wordcount**: 535  
**Disclaimer**: I have not profited monetarily from this venture, nor do I claim original ownership of the characters, setting, or song.  
**Summary**: Keri Hilson's song 'Knock you down' as applied to _Observations_ and the K/S I've set up as of 12.01.2009.

A/N- I am not responsible for this temporary insanity. I have no idea why these keep coming out of my brain. If you haven't read _Observations_, this might not make sense. This is the last of the crack. I think.

--

Keep rockin  
And keep crackin  
Whether I screw the fuck up or rebootin  
You see the hate that I'm servin on a platter  
So what we gon' have, K/S or disaster?

I never thought they'd be in love like this  
When I look at them my mind goes on the fritz  
Then Kirk came in and knocked Spock on his face  
It's like Spock's in a race, with no idea he's already won first place.

He never thought he'd fall for Kirk as hard as he did  
Kirk's got him thinkin about a meld, a Vulcan kiss  
Every mornin, Kirk looks at him and smiles  
And Spock's comin round to the truth the sound, the love he found

One day love'll come around, and it'll knock em down  
They'll get back up but it'll knock em down, knock em down  
Then when love comes around, it'll knock em down  
They can't go back can't turn around, turn around

He never thought he'd hear himself say  
You go ahead, I think I'm gonna kick it with my First today  
He used to be commander in chief on his pimp ship flyin high  
Til he met this green Vulcan missile that shot him out the sky

Captain I'm crashin, don't know how it happened  
But he knows it feels so damn good  
And if he could go back and make it happen faster  
Don't you know he would, baby, if he could

Vulcan and logic, to the fullest  
The load can get too much but he's helpin him pull it  
He shot the bullet that ended darkness  
He swears the light in him just flared inside, man

Sometimes love comes around, and changes the ground  
Kirk gets back up when he's 'lone lost drowned, raw and down  
Cause when Spock's got him now, his arms around  
Kirk gets back up when shit knocks him down, knocks him down

Tell me now can they make it past the fire  
So I can finally write scenes of hot desire  
Kirk was always the captain of his dreams that  
Seem to only date the head of the cheerleading teams  
And he was the class loner that kids were always fightin  
They, were never meant to be baby they just happen  
Spock please, don't mess up the trick, hey young world Kirk's the new slick rick  
World says they move too slow but they can't let the moment pass em  
Let the hourglass pass right into ashes  
Let the wind blow the ash right before this crashes  
Until Spock admits to love right before I slash em  
How could a captain ask, someone of mixed heritage  
For love, OMG fangirls readin smut bitch?  
Whoa it's me, and it might be tragic  
For a while  
But they have it, they are magic

Spock is flyin now he's crashin  
This is bad real bad can it happen  
Kirk is mad real mad it can't happen  
How'll they be t'hy'la now, just keep readin

Sometimes love comes around, and it knocks em down  
They'll get back up when it knocks em down, knocks em down  
Til that love comes around, there's verbs and nouns  
I've got to write til they come around, come around.


End file.
